It was a dark and rainy day. Tom Tomato and Rasy Raspberry were sitting on the windowsill watching the raindrops fall.
"Gloomy day, isn't it?" said Tom, attempting to make conversation.
"Yes, it is rather overcast today," replied Rasy. "To make things worse, all of the raspberries are rotting, including me!"
"All of the tomatoes have been eaten except for me," exclaimed Tom. "Maybe tomatoes taste better than raspberries."
Rasy responded in an insulted manner, "Bite your tongue Tom! Are you trying to tell me tomatoes have a better taste than raspberries? Ha, ha, ha! That's a laugh! Do you even know if you're a fruit or a vegetable?"
"Why are you saying all these mean things to me? I was just joking before. I didn't mean..." blubbered Tom.
"Gee, Tom," Rasy spoke with sympathy. "I didn't mean to make you cry. Let's be friends. No more insults, k?"
"Okay," replied Tom all cheered up. "We'll be best buds forever!"
"Hey! Don't push your luck, Tom!" joked Rasy.
After that conversation Tom and Rasy grew closer together and they stayed best buds for the rest of their short lives.
*************
"Do you even KNOW if you're a fruit or a vegetable?" OH BURN. Is all I have to say about that. That tomato just got pwned. (I'm hip with the lingo).
I remember this was an assignment to test our punctuation and grammar in regards to dialogues in our writing... Proper use of quotation marks and that kind of stuff. But let's take a trip down memory lane to when I was a child to find out exactly where Tom and Rasy came from. A quick delve into the psyche of a young child that wanted to save everything including rotten fruits and vegetables and pieces of paper.
I remember being overly concerned about the emotional well-being of "things" that clearly didn't have feelings. If we had to throw out a rotten tomato I'd be upset because it didn't live the life it was supposed to. In my mind a tomato's destiny was to be eaten and enjoyed. If it suffered any other untimely, sad fate I'd be upset for it. I'd imagine it pleading for its life and stuff. "Laura, save me I'm not fulfilling my destiny".
It gets crazier. Personifying fruits and vegetables doesn't seem that outrageous to me considering the talking fruits and bugs and animals we're all subjected to on TV and in books as children. But I used to attribute human emotion to objects as well. I would get upset if people didn't use their napkin to its fullest potential. You know how sometimes you get those giant napkins that can easily still be used if they were half or even a quarter of their size? Sometimes when you unfold them they're like 2 feet by 2 feet and way too extensive for someone not eating something incredibly messy like ribs. Why? Why do people use those giant napkins? They aren't doing what they were brought to this world to do. Some people just wipe their mouths with them once and then that's it. That napkin was MADE to get dirty and to cleanse the face and hands of messy eaters. How dare the napkins not be allowed to live to their true potentials? It's horrible is what it is.
Don't get me started on the water that's getting wasted when you turn on the hot tap and you're waiting for it to warm up. All those poor little water molecules crying for help. Not being used. It's sad really. That paper that people print 2 lines on and then realize they don't really need. That paper wanted to be PRINTED ON you know? Filled from top to bottom with wonderful ink. And what about not printing on both sides of the paper? What about the other side of the paper? What about that last bit of toilet paper that's stuck to the roll and you can't get off without ripping thus rendering it useless. Those two drops of milk at the bottom of the carton... Such a terrible fate...
By writing this I feel like I've re-acquired this irrational childish idea that objects and fruits and vegetables are sentient beings. I'm going to eat every last grain of rice on my dinner plate tonight because that rice has feelings.
What a digression, this became a public service announcement about waste. Seriously, eat all your tomatoes and raspberries. Tom and Rasy would thank you (I brought the story back! FULL CIRCLE!)
I remember this was an assignment to test our punctuation and grammar in regards to dialogues in our writing... Proper use of quotation marks and that kind of stuff. But let's take a trip down memory lane to when I was a child to find out exactly where Tom and Rasy came from. A quick delve into the psyche of a young child that wanted to save everything including rotten fruits and vegetables and pieces of paper.
I remember being overly concerned about the emotional well-being of "things" that clearly didn't have feelings. If we had to throw out a rotten tomato I'd be upset because it didn't live the life it was supposed to. In my mind a tomato's destiny was to be eaten and enjoyed. If it suffered any other untimely, sad fate I'd be upset for it. I'd imagine it pleading for its life and stuff. "Laura, save me I'm not fulfilling my destiny".
It gets crazier. Personifying fruits and vegetables doesn't seem that outrageous to me considering the talking fruits and bugs and animals we're all subjected to on TV and in books as children. But I used to attribute human emotion to objects as well. I would get upset if people didn't use their napkin to its fullest potential. You know how sometimes you get those giant napkins that can easily still be used if they were half or even a quarter of their size? Sometimes when you unfold them they're like 2 feet by 2 feet and way too extensive for someone not eating something incredibly messy like ribs. Why? Why do people use those giant napkins? They aren't doing what they were brought to this world to do. Some people just wipe their mouths with them once and then that's it. That napkin was MADE to get dirty and to cleanse the face and hands of messy eaters. How dare the napkins not be allowed to live to their true potentials? It's horrible is what it is.
Don't get me started on the water that's getting wasted when you turn on the hot tap and you're waiting for it to warm up. All those poor little water molecules crying for help. Not being used. It's sad really. That paper that people print 2 lines on and then realize they don't really need. That paper wanted to be PRINTED ON you know? Filled from top to bottom with wonderful ink. And what about not printing on both sides of the paper? What about the other side of the paper? What about that last bit of toilet paper that's stuck to the roll and you can't get off without ripping thus rendering it useless. Those two drops of milk at the bottom of the carton... Such a terrible fate...
By writing this I feel like I've re-acquired this irrational childish idea that objects and fruits and vegetables are sentient beings. I'm going to eat every last grain of rice on my dinner plate tonight because that rice has feelings.
What a digression, this became a public service announcement about waste. Seriously, eat all your tomatoes and raspberries. Tom and Rasy would thank you (I brought the story back! FULL CIRCLE!)
Omg, with the exception of the personification, I feel the EXACT same way about those stupid large napkins. Strangely I also get ridiculously annoyed when people use them but crumple them up and rip them until they're just wads of paper. Show some respect people! I'm into fabric napkins now. What a relief.
ReplyDeleteRIGHT? I'm NOT crazy!
ReplyDeleteSeriously though those napkins are enormous for no reason and it really bothers me.
my favorite post so far!
ReplyDelete