Hopeless Deadbeat

I am unemployed. I am unemployed for almost a year. Fresh off the high of a successful grad degree and a pretty amazing trip to India I am ready to face the job market. Boy does the job market want to wipe that smug smirk of my face and punch it instead. Interviews suck. Looking for jobs sucks. The absolute humiliation of spending the whole day in your pajamas, eating chips, watching every event of the Vancouver Olympics and crying every time Canada wins a medal is hard to explain. It’s almost as difficult as explaining the horrifying feeling after 2 weeks of not having the Olympics as an excuse for doing absolutely nothing. Being unemployed sucks. It is especially bad when you’re right out of school and used to constantly being on the go. It’s also bad when you’re living at home sucking all the energy out of your family’s house with your “I’m a hopeless deadbeat” vibes. Your grandma is making you lunch like you’re a 10 year old, your mom is worried about you, your dad thinks you’re not trying hard enough and all you want to do is sleep and watch every single episode of every television show there ever was on DVD. It’s a hopeless situation.
I deal with it quite well at the beginning. When you’ve been in school for over 20 years all you want to do is not think about doing another day’s work again. The pain of absolute nothingness becomes crippling after about four months when I decide actively looking for a job is a good idea and it’s when I encounter the joys of interviews.
The stress of not getting jobs weighs on me. Each one seems so perfect for me and would have provided me with exactly the right kind of experience to further my career. I am so saddened every time I find out I don't get a job that it takes at least a week to get over the disappointment. I only realize later that all missed job opportunities feel like exceptional failures and for someone who's not used to failing it's a pretty sad fact.